It's a little late, but I think it's appropriate to give a few parting words to our little hamster Aurore, who finally died a couple of days ago after being rather sick and weak for a while. She was old for a hamster, and lived a peaceful life, unmarked by escapes or sickness.

Of all four hamsters that we've had, she was the one that I would actually call a pet. She never bit, and actually seemed to like sitting in hands, milling around and sniffing. When we walked into the room, if she was awake, she'd sit up on her back feet and look at us as though she recognized us, and would even come to the front of the cage and eat from our hands, although she only liked the big pieces in the hamster food.

It's empty-looking in the computer room without her cage sitting on top of Hazel's cage, and I'm going to miss her. She was a good hamster, and I don't think we'll ever find one quite like her. I don't think I even want to bother looking.

Goodbye, little beast. I know that if karma exists, your kind little spirit will find its way to a pleasant rebirth. Hopefully the good energy you passed on here will benefit others in this world somewhere. You would have made a good person.

Testing this interesting thingy...

http://www.isoma.net/games/goggles.html?loc=tqstqqtsqtrtqsttrttt

The lonely man, soul cast in wicker strips, carefully woven back and forth back and forth to keep all the water out, still has sand slipping through the sides of him, spilling to the floor. Happiness sits as an hourglass, and he watches as all the time slips away with all the time he had. As the new moon glints in his eye, he smiles as the sand pours and pours. Time can never be re-had, but he wouldn't want it to be so. Where he pours forth, all his life essence, there will one day be a sandy coast, and the impermeable ocean will wash up against what was once his soul.

He knows that he will be gone when the sand is, but it doesn't frighten him. He has long known of the flaws in his manufacturing, but refused to ask the people around him for some cork, afraid of imposing upon a neighbor.

I checked one of the books containing a few of the Dalai Lama's speeches and messages out today while I was incredibly bored at work. I've always been curious about Buddhism, but after reading the introduction to the belief system, I find that I'm only left with more questions about it.

The fleeting pleasures of life (things like sex, food, et cetera) are included in the suffering that is supposed to define life outside of Nirvana. If, then, those are not only temporary pleasures, but pain in disguise, then it is our very nature to cause pain to ourselves. I find it hard to imagine transcending food, but honestly, this is perhaps the easiest thing for me to understand. After all, Buddhism is about transcending the state we live in now, and becoming aware of all things.

However, I find it hard to understand how one can be aware of all things with the total emphasis on the positive that I read about. Negative thoughts and 'corrupted thoughts' (always a warning sign in any belief for me) can damage karma and bring negative energy out into the world. This severely contradicts what I believe, and is probably what will keep me from being Buddhist. I don't think that negativity in the world can be solved by ignoring it. Understanding can only be achieved through experience, and experience must be contemplated in order to understand. It cannot be possible to think only positively about any situation. I believe that thinking that way can influence events and situations, but I do not think that refusing to see the other side of the coin will solve the problems of the world as a whole.

Reality is an impermanent construct. This is fairly true, if you ask me. The physical, however, is not. It is incredibly selfish of humans to assume that we are the fulcrum upon which the world turns. It is the other way around. Were we not here to perceive reality, it would not exist as what we call reality. However, the earth would still exist, and all of the creatures and forces on the earth would still exist. And, if reality is ever supposed to be impermanent, it would require the destruction of the human race. As long as there are humans, the construct will continue to thrive and grow. It is as permanent as we are, and since permanence hinges on our existence, the construct is permanent.

But Thomas, you say, is your critique of Buddhist thought not as asinine as all religious thought you choose to criticize? You are the dreaded H word, you say! Well, no. I am not saying that Buddhism is wrong. I do not believe that there is a wrong, when it comes to the search for divinity that humans all participate in, save those who willingly deny its existence. We all seek the same thing, be it Nirvana, Heaven, et cetera. In this, I do agree with Buddhist thought. We all seek a release from the constraints of human existence in some way. Some appreciate the human existence, and do not want to leave it. Should they ever achieve this, they would be achieving their personal divinity. However, this book, though I will likely read it, has cemented my opinion that the Buddhist path is not my own, though some of the concepts I do find interesting/true.

Today's rune reading;

1. I decided this space would represent my current state. Eerily accurate, as is normal with these runes I have.

Wunjo- Happiness, joy, with what some interpret as a temporary nature. I'm not sure if I agree with that particular view.

2. The near future.

Ingwaz- Balance, groundedness, work with the earth, tranquility.

3. What may prevent me from experiencing said near future positively.

Raidho (inverted)- I suppose the best way to view Raidho inverted would be a lack of movement, or a stopping in a journey, spiritual or maybe physical. I'm still thinking of the proper way to interpret this.

So yeah, I get on my trusty iBook once again (I'm not sure why I never went through with my plans to turn my desktop into a Windows box. I guess it was for the games), and I get to this article on the BBC News about the Tamil Tigers, the separatists in Sri Lanka, and how Canada has stuck them on their country's 'terror list', as it were.

Now, I'm all for denouncing groups that go about killing people, be they military casualties, civilians, et cetera. But, in that case, why don't we put the Sri Lankan army on there too? They certainly have no problems violating the same ceasefire that western countries are always tooting the horns about. Oh, wait, that's right, we won't put governments on that list unless they're from the Middle East.

What harm would it do to negotiate a sovereign region for the Tamils? Dravidians and Indians are different people, with different beliefs and customs, and they're not going to get along well if one feels like they're being subjected by the other. It works like this all around the world, and the Sri Lankan government's cock-swelling rhetoric isn't doing either side any good. If we could get off the fucking 'you're a terrorist' boat and actually try and solve a problem, the world might not be half so fucked up these days.

Just a shorty for now...

'Sadr City Sardonic'

Part One- 'The Chosen'

minnaret phalli pierce
fertile clouds, that
suffer miscarriage
most of the year:

in great cities of men
such as this
mighty mollusks of men
clutch so tightly
thrones of supposition
their shells of paper, perfect
calligraphed words of god
protect these severe revered
from the hells they birthed
for every being but themselves
secretly smiling yellow fangs
in the glow of salvation in solitude

(c)Thomas Gray, 2006